If I could be mine

My heart outstretches it's length
My mind, taken by my aches
My soul can take no more
My frame isn't as sturdy as before
My sight, it's limited now
My wants and needs become my keeps as my heart longs for someone to reach
My skin is scarred and masked with repair
My hairs falling out
My feet, standing bare
My legs feel like I can go no further
My arms pull me inward
My lungs inhale deeper
My eyes cry for my heart
My clothes tattered and ripped
My longing for love shadowed by dark
My love never lets me win
My compassion for my folk of kin
My spirit is still with me when I thought nobody cared
My only worry
My only whim
My only venture
My only purpose to live
My only worry
My only whim
My only venture
My wanting for them

Sold my cold life, to carry on.
Sold my whole life, just to press her on
I shouldn't, I know - I'll say it slow.

Sold my cold life, to carry on.
Sold my whole life, just to press her on
I shouldn't, I know - say it slow.

If it's not a big deal seeing me
and if you have plans, I'll stay behind.
When your excitement doesn't match mine
it's really hard to tell.
It's really hard to be compelled
to want know you so well. 

Heavy head, shaky hands, only a hope - not a plan

the ray skin

Sunrise all up in my eyes, it's morning
my darling, my baby
Wake up slowly, maybe a shower
for me, take it with me?
Our sheets become entangled with our legs,
you cant escape it
So wake up slowly darlin, no assuming
no mights no maybes
Rest your head up on my chest, your breathing
slowly escaping
No lipstick, make up, foundation
just the smile of my baby.
She dont cause me no trouble, she helps take
away my pain.
And if I play things right, just maybe
things will stay this way.
No situation can come close to the way
she loves and treats me.
And if I let her go, then she will know
she's not my baby.
'Cause lately, we've been thinkin'
fussin & contemplating
I don't mean for the mistaking,
but baby you've got me thinking.
How am I suppose to be content with where I'm staying,
what you feed me it's all deceit
can't, won't, don't want to pay
With my soul, don't take it
let's try and be complacent,
let's try and recreate it.
Not matter what I'm saying
this plead it can not save me.
Won't help her start to crave me.
It seems as if I'm wasting
away when without my lady.
She's keepin a distance, safely from me
she is always changing
Saying she love me and she want me
then she go a cheatin'
My heavy head I lay it, down were she used lay, yeah.
And there is no mistaken
your scent is overtaking.
Now it's me who's making, the time to be complacent
I'm not cut out for this slavery, but that is what its taking.

4:15 for hours

dedicated to k.y.i.

This chair is getting old
Still, I rock you back and forth
Here I go again
My memories, replayed a fold of ten
Out my ear again
left to the winded hymn
My heart sank below me
as cracks in the earths' crust
adjust accordingly
This scene is far worsening
Now my memories
they've seemed to get the best of me.
Bandaged & broken hearted
I still smile for you to see.
So, here I go again
my ears are full of what you've said.
There's no use in this.
So I brace my self for what's ahead.

I like writing. It helps me.

dedicated to k.y.i.

My hands and feet, they're hanging.
A cold plastic seat assumes my position
while you hint at me
from across a tile sea.
Southern winds, I swear
they pushed me along
and here I stand, there.
Situations were funny, yet comforting
during this new moment.
As I talked, you listened.
As you talked, I kept my excitement in.

Oh, I don't want these useless tries.
Oh, please find us the time.
Oh, my darling.

I kept Polaroids of us in my mind.
Searched out the watches that recorded our time.
I kept everything I could possibly find
And even with these small trinkets,
I'm still unable to re-create what we lived.
I went back, sat down and closed my eyes
for a better view of you.
This plastic chair is as cold as ever
as I sit here, reminiscing of how I met her.